Eric is confused

*I'm a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight*...        
If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're  "exotic, different."Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers,  a quintessential  American  story.        
If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.        
Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.        
Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you're well  grounded.        
If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years  as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator  representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of  the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs  Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.        
If your total resume is: local weather girl,  4 years on the city  council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000  people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people,  then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking  executive.        
If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while  raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're  not a real Christian.  
If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your  disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a  Christian.        
If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including  the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.        
If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no  other option in sex education in your state's school system while your  unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you're very responsible.        
If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city  community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values  don't represent America's.        
If you're husband is nicknamed "First Dude",  with at least one DWI  conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.  
OK, much clearer now.